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- TOP TEN WAYS THE METS CAN IMPROVE THIS YEAR
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- 10. Don't just suck -- suck 110%
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- 9. Require players to bet on games so they care about outcome
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- 8. Instead of baseball hats -- Donahue wigs
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- 7. No beers till the seventh inning
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- 6. A little less "polishing the bat", if you know what I mean
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- 5. Wait at least until all-star break to get indicted
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- 4. Stop letting Kato Kaelin sleep in the dugout
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- 3. Two words: Coach Gump
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- 2. Forget about having Letterman host annual awards banquet
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- 1. Keep the replacements
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- Letterman, Tuesday, April 4, 1995
- Copyright Worldwide Pants, Inc. 1995
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